Brainstorm for the Great I Am

I am no stranger to violence, never have been. The sad thing is that unlike so many other stimuli that repeatedly rear their reality-bound presence, familiarity does not make each exposure less affecting of my psyche.
I am, unfortunately or not, no stranger to silence. To a vacuum in the place of embrace. Self-imposed solitude or strangers shaking hands with a costume, it feels the same.
I am a stranger to reality, unable to release my attachment to an ideal that has been sold to me and forced down my throat since birth until reality itself can never be anything more than disappointing. All for what? to spend a potentially free lifetime spending my time and my energy in pursuit of the unattainable.