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I get this nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something a bit more "me" with my life at the moment. Something a bit more magical. That what I do outside of my wars and battles should have less to do with saving up for more wars and battles and should have more to do with serenity. Perhaps with storytelling.
Perhaps with creating a world where I can breathe, and dream, and fly into a sky so beautiful and breathtaking that the fact that its completely unknown doesn't scare me. Only excites me.
I hate changing my mind.
It makes me feel like there's a hole where my loyalty should be.
Anyway. here's to another day.
Thanks for helping me survive it.
I'd survive it either way. But thanks for helping with it.
Thanks for being something to do with magic and serenity and storytelling that I can come home to.
Thanks for helping me breathe, and dream, and fly.
I am scared and wary of you still. But I am feeling something I haven't for a long time. And that is the desire to not feel that way. The hope and willingness to work for a better and more complete feeling.
Maybe I'm chasing an illusion.
Maybe we all are, throughout our entire lives. Maybe that is our entire life.
But at least now, one difference, is that I want something better. Even if I can never have it, I can at least know that desire is part of my being human.