Theres a lot I want to write out.
So much in there, needing an exit.
I don't want to stop loving you. That's the easiest path.
Not sure if what i'm feeling deals with sorrow or with wrath
at myself for not doing things a different way
I don't even know what I would like for you to say.
You should just know how much you brightened up each day
of my life
through toil and strife
feeling my existence was a knife
against my throat, the end of my rope,
until your voice gives me the thing i've been drowning for: hope.
I cant expect or demand for you to feel the same way
part of me wants to, and i fight hard to keep that at bay
so i scream and i shout, then i whimper, then pray
Slam my fists into punching bags, run laps to get away
from myself, and as i go crazy, trying not to blow up your phone
knowing how many guys before didnt know how to leave you alone
and how that made you feel
its so surreal,
that now I'm the squeaky wheel, trying to get the grease
idiotically ignoring that I'm in the way of your peace
like a disease that you catch when you're trying to catch zzzz's.
I dont know what excuse to make.
im not normally like this, do I blame kharma or fate?
im used to keeping a cryogenic level of cool, so now i equate
my behavior to that of a fool.
at the bottom of it all. I just yearn to know that you understand.
i'm not trolling on purpose, its hard being a man.
be patient with me while i go through this hellish ride
i dont want to without my best friend by my side.
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